One of the recurring conversations at our house is about reaching the younger generation—this generation. We debate how to do this, what legitimate means we can employ to accomplish this, how much money should the church spend to do this, how much energy I (the pastor) should spend in this direction, etc.
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Central to the debate is the question about being true to the Bible. Some Christian leaders are very concerned about using worldly means to accomplish a godly end. They are critical of Christian leaders who are not dressed (or look) like “Christians.†You know—the earring thing (or nose, or lip, etc.)! Or the weird hair-color thing! Or the casual (extreme) attire!
They believe Christians should look different from the world. They say it’s OK to reach out to the young people for salvation, but once they are saved, they should change their appearance to look like “Christians.†It’s a “testimony†thing!
And I understand this: I want my daughter to look like a beautiful lady! I do not want her to have “hot-pink†hair spiked into a point. I don’t want rings sticking on every part of her face! And I want the same things for my sons.
BUT, I argue the real question is NOT “what do I want?†The real question is NOT “what do I think about this subject?â€
The real question IS “WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT THIS SUBJECT?â€
I have heard many preachers, pastors, and Christians say, “I do not believe it is right to dress that way or look that way.†But then I ask the simple question, “where in the Bible do you get that ‘belief’?†The inevitable answer is the Bible says, “come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord,†(2 Cor. 6:14). Or some similar passage.
I know the O.T. Jews were commanded to look a certain way! But God specifically addressed the question in regards to Gentiles (Acts 15). We are told that we DO NOT have to become Jews. There is NO outward “look†given to the Gentiles! There is NOT a certain “worldly look†that is BIBLICALLY UNGODLY (apart from apparel that is “immodestâ€)!  And 2 Corinthians 6:14 is not talking about a weird hair style or weird piercing or weird clothes! It is talking about separation from sin!
Now, I know we could make a good argument that your appearance makes a statement about what you believe (demonic statements, drug statements, sex, etc.), but most young people will tell you they are not trying to make an unbiblical statement. They are just being unique, being themselves, etc. If what they are wearing does not state something sinful, why is it wrong? If they are just saying “I am unique,†“I am ME,†why do Christians judge them for the way they look? Why are they not welcomed with open arms into our churches today? And if they do come into our churches, why are they not allowed to get involved in our churches without first changing their appearance?
If you tell me that you “believe†their weird look is wrong, I tell you that you should rather say, “I think it is wrong.†Your “belief†is not based on what the Bible says, but on what you think the Bible means by what it says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 or some similar passage.
I am passionate about this today because Phyllis and I walk around Athens and see a harvest that is ripe, young adults who need the Savior! Do I have to tell them to change their individuality if they give their lives to Jesus? And if I do, where do I take them in the Bible to prove that “biblical standard�
Well I know the debate will continue! But I wish God’s people would just be honest with themselves, their children, and this generation. Be honest! Admit it! You just don’t like the way this new generation looks! THEY LOOK WEIRD! But stop trying to justify your opinion with poor biblical exegesis.
Chas. Rice
5/15/07
I couldn’t have said that better myself. haha, I too have certain “opinions” on what is proper for me and my family to wear, how to act, what to participate in, etc. And they are just that opinions. Often times we, myself included, mistake our beliefs for the gospel when in actuality it is just that, a belief. It is also known as our culture. As generations has passed we have brought our culture down through people and it has become to often the gospel. Our culture often dictates our value system. I too am guilty of judging certain people by the way that they look and God help me for that. I have this fear that one day my son will come home dressed in black including his finger nails and lips and people will judge him and me for how he appears. If Jesus saves them, he will do the cleaning up of our appearance.
I would also like to elaborate on the finances for our children’s programs. It has been the norm for many churches to spend as little as possible on youth programs when we should probably make it the priority being that this age group is the most unsettled. It is usually young kids that have to raise their own money for outings, missions, etc. Our children are our church of tomorrow. The money spent on the children 30 years ago may have been what kept some of them at their church today. Our children usually take the back seat to the adult programs. Our children need socialization as well as education in the church. I, myself, thrive on socialization that i receive from my church family. Our children will find it in the world if we don’t provide it for them at the church. We need to invest more of our time and “yes” money on our Future which is Children of all ages.
Comment by Brenda — May 15, 2007 @ 12:07 pm
Pastor, I find your remarks to be right on target. I have worried and prayed for the younger generation for some time. I think many people want to run our youth through a machine that will stamp them out to look just like us. Well when we were young our elders probably thought we looked funny. I think we need to get the younger generation under the sound of the gospel and than let God do the rest. Don’t worry about how they look, just love them and let them see the love of God in your life. If they should ask what you think about dress, than you can tell them what you think because the Bible is not clear on it. So all you can tell them is what you THINK.
Comment by Ronnie Coburn — May 15, 2007 @ 12:09 pm
RIGHT ON!!! My two daughters didn’t always dress according to my will; however, they both turned out pretty good in my opinion. As you can tell by my responses, I’m really proud of my girls and will brag on them at any opportunity. Sometimes they need to see themselves as others see them, e.g., Carol and I were out driving one day when we saw a young girl walking down the street. She was dressed as many of the teens at that time. Carol was floored! She said, “Do I look like that?” I answered honestly and said, “Yes.” Needless to say WE WENT SHOPPING.
Comment by Betty Hagenrater — May 16, 2007 @ 6:50 am
When Christ saves, Christ changes. We have to be aware of His Presence and leading. (the still, small voice). The longer we serve Him and the more we grow in His grace and Holiness, the more we should become like Him. No man can do the changing, only God Himself. Unless we want converts of our own and not Christ’s. We as a church should reach out to the youth with our means and our hearts, because we need to remember where we were at one time. But, should we not also expect respect and responsibility, because so many today just want handouts with no thought to anyone but themselves.
Comment by jeanne — May 16, 2007 @ 8:34 am
You are right Jeanne. A lot of adults are that way too. (Just looking for a handout) Even Christians. I guess we just pray that our example of giving will be what God uses to change their hearts.
Comment by Phyllis — May 16, 2007 @ 11:13 am
I think that there are more adults that way then kids. But does the Lord want us to always give with no expectations from them?
Comment by jeanne — May 16, 2007 @ 11:50 am
I think we should always “give”! But sometimes we give a “hand-out” and sometimes we should give a “hand-up”! Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is to insist they let us help them stand on their own two feet. If they will not take our “hand-up,” that is their choice. But we are still willing to give it! Isn’t that what God does for us? He gives us the greatest blessing when He makes us “grow up.”
Comment by chas — May 16, 2007 @ 2:21 pm
The Lord is so good. He knows what we need just when we need it.
Back to the wierd thing. I have been on both sides of the pink hair and tattoos and piercings with my two kids, who I love so much it hurts sometimes. Is it just individuality, or is it total rebellion? Sometimes it really does mean something bad. We need to be aware of what some of this stuff represents. We cant’t, as Christians, be unaware. Our kids would have us believe it doesn’t mean anything, when it really is something other than being unique. As in the case of “a monkey on my back”. And then the parents find out it is a heroin addict depicted in a rap song. That is why music says alot about who we are and what we like to do. We need to be aware of their friends and who they are running with. And what they are listening to. It is not always good stuff, and sometimes they will outgrow it. But sometimes it does lead to bigger and badder things, and those things need to be confronted because evil is real and it can be personified in the most unlikely places and people. Sometimes love does not fix everything.
Comment by jeanne — May 17, 2007 @ 8:27 am
Jeanne, you are so right about so many things, along with others that I have read. Yes, we do have to be on top of things when it comes to our kids, we have to be observant, mindful, informed and the list goes on and on. I am a firm believer in that we have to be in our childrens lives, we have to know where they are, who there friends are, what is on their MP3 players, what type of video games are they playing, on and on and on, and yes unfortunately it still no guarentee that they will walk the straight and narrow. I don’t know how parents of children who are not christians make it through the days because of the amount of prayer it takes to raise children. On the other side though, we still can’t throw the babies out with the bath water. Even though love may not be everything it is still mandated. We have to love them unconditionally and never turn our backs on them. There is a big difference between loving someone and enabling/condoning their behavior. When we talk about our kids it is easier to love our own when they are doing wrong then loving someone elses and this is where we often times fall short. we have a tendency to forget that they are someone’s daughter or son and that we still have to attempt to reach them for Christ even though “they look weird” Jim has a philosophy when he talks to Jaime about some of the music that the kids listen to. It has a tendency to talk down about girls and i know i don’t need to go into detail. Jim always will say that this is someone’s daughter, sister, neice, cousin, etc. and it seems to bring it home for Jaime because he is so close to his cousins. Jaime would never want anyone to talk about Brianna that way. I guess i have said all that to say this. I am scared to death of what is waiting for my son, and YES I am in his business and don’t tell him this but I am an excellent evesdropper although, I think he is figuring that out, and I know that I will always be there for him regardless of his mistakes. There are many children in our community that the parents feel the same way and there are others that don’t give a hoot. I wish that everyone would worry more about their eternal future more than their success in the big world, how much money they will make or what they look like. I guess that is why I hang on every word that some of you say because you have been through some of the same troubles that I may face in the future with my family. I could go on for hours because of the what ifs so I will end with this. God help us to spread your Word every day to anyone that will listen and guide our words so that they hear from you and not us. Give us the patient to work with our young community so that they will see Christ in us and want what we have. I love you guys and know that everyone so far commenting on this subject would walk miles to show someone Jesus.
Comment by Brenda — May 17, 2007 @ 9:29 am
Here I go again. Some of you have young ones now and I have been where you are. So here is what worked for Wil and me: Our children didn’t go out with anyone unless we had met them and had the young people come to our house. (Some times we really gave them the 3rd degree.) The girls didn’t go to anyone else’s home unless I had been there first and met the parents. I needed to know what kind of people they were associating with and if they didn’t agree…they they didn’t go. That simple! This has rubbed off and the girls are now applying the same standards with their children. Mitchell doesn’t see why his mom has to know his friends, but she tells him it worked for her when she was growing up and it will work for him. Oh, to be able to raise our children in the era in which we were raised. I still say those were the best years of our lives. God Bless!
Comment by Betty Hagenrater — May 17, 2007 @ 11:30 am
But, we will keep loving and loving and praying and praying. Because Christ does. We (I) have to learn not to judge by sight only, but by the heart, or the fruits shown. We can be so quick to see the wrong that people do and not the good that they could be doing, with the right type of encouragement. Love and Prayers guys, signing off for the day.
Comment by jeanne — May 17, 2007 @ 12:52 pm